Elephants and Gates

There is such tremendous freedom in being honest. I’m not referring to “getting too much change back at the cash register” kind of honesty.  I’m talking about that feeling of an elephant standing on your chest, and then you say what you feel or think and the elephant moves a foot off the left lobe of your lung and then you keep telling the truth and finally feel fully relieved of the weight.

We all have these secret truths…things stuck inside us that feel like the weight of the elephant. We have been taught, either in spoken word or in unspoken cues, that sharing what we really think and feel is not okay. I mean, for real, what the hell will people think of me if they knew that my marriage is difficult, that I speak to my wife unkindly, that my parenting skills are lackluster and that my first thought about people who are different than me is a thought of fear???

Holy shit, how would it feel to be completely honest—and then recognize that we are all the same? It’s the sweet spot of connecting.

Letting the elephant roam free? What a mind-blowing concept. We had dinner with friends last night and this was the nature of our conversation: honest and open, truly and deeply. We discussed the woes of relationships and how our communication styles suck and how being married to the same person for a long time is really difficult.  Towards the end of the date we agreed how refreshing a conversation it was.  It’s comforting to know that we are not alone in how we think, feel, or behave.  For some messed-up reason, we have been led to believe that we are.

It’s agonizing to be on the deserted island of isolation and secrets. It’s painful to think that I am the only one with all these scary truths inside. The elephant moves every time we are able to open that door into the very depths of our being and share it with someone else in a way that we feel safe, supported and loved. Every time we do this, we are silently giving permission to other people to do the same. There is a deep sigh of relief in knowing that we actually aren’t alone, regardless of what our mind wants us to believe.

Be the reason today that someone knows they aren’t alone. Open the gate for the elephant!